Holler

Captain Lulu

I decided early on in motherhood that I would not take my own children rafting until I knew they could save themselves if needed.  I wanted them to be able to get their own butts out of danger.  I wanted to be a laid-back river mom; not the freakedy kind I saw when I was a guide–the kind who cling to their kids’ lifejackets with white knuckles.  My kids are now five and six, and have never been floating–until now.  Last weekend, I decided to break my no-Hutchlings-on-the-water-until-seven-years-old rule.  They are good swimmers, and they’re smart little suckers.  So Shane and I decided they were ready.  However, we decided to start slowly and not put them on the rapid stretch yet.  We settled on our old stand-by, a chill flyfishing trip on Glacier Park’s western border, the North Fork of the Flathead.  (It’s like my “Cheers”… if you can’t find me, it means you didn’t look on the North Fork.)  The Hutchlings are pretty good fishermen, so they were super excited.

Fish On, Orion!

We teamed up with some of our best buddies, the Atlees, and headed up the fabulously dusty North Fork road to the Ford river access just south of the Canadian Border.  We put in late in the afternoon, so most of the other boats had already launched.  We had the whole world to ourselves.  The adults switched off between rowing, helping the kids fish, and enjoying solitude in the pontoon rig.  It was heaven.  But as always, things were constantly silly and memorable.  In order that more parents might have the proper river experience with their kids, I decided to put together a top ten list based on our first outing with the kids on the river.

Ella loves the view into Glacier National Park

OUTSIDE MEDIA’S TOP TEN TIPS FOR A FUN, FULL-DAY FISHING TRIP WITH ANKLE-BITERS

1. If your spouse says “I’ve got everything we need,” simply roll your eyes.  Then pack for real.
2. Best river food for kids is jerky.  It floats.  So when the bag dumps in the water you can pretty easily grab most of it.  Fun-fruits also float.  Bagels kind of do, but it doesn’t matter because they get nasty.
3. Even if they went ca-ca before you left, they’ll still have to poop again.  Maybe two or three times on the eight-mile float.  So the “use a leaf” method doesn’t cut it, especially since they ate all of the fun-fruits on the drive to the put-in.  Plus, it’s good stewardship and often the law to pack out your poop.  We pack a “groover” on the raft–an ammo-can with a toilet seat on it.  It’s called a groover, because of the grooves it used to leave on your rump before someone had the bright idea to add a toilet seat.
4. Invest in quality life jackets.  Children need to wear them the whole time, so they need to be comfy and have good mobility so that they can they do the Pee-Wee Herman dance across the bow.  They always do that dance.
5. On the drive up to the put-in, try to get acceptable songs stuck in their heads, like Foo Fighters’ “For All the Cows.” …As opposed to MJ’s “Man in the Mirror” since they only know the part that goes, “I’m talkin’ ’bout the man in the mirror!”
6. When the kids ask to use a Kokanee beer can to scoop up river water to pour on their heads, say NO.  There’s just never time to yell an explanation to the gawking and whispering people on the bank.
7. When a kid acts up, untie the bowline.  When she asks what you’re doing, tell her you’re preparing to hang her off the boat to chum for bears.
8. If you promise to let your kid strip in the fishing line when you catch the big one, you’d better be ready to lose the big one.
9. Smell something funky?  You may think it’s from the ineffective “use a leaf” method.  But you should really check the kids’ swimsuits to see if there are any tadpoles, snakes or frogs in there being saved for show-n-tell at school next fall.
10. Before the float, make bets on how many times you’ll hear, “oh and this one time” or “oh and guess what” or “I’m talkin’ ’bout the man in the mirror”…and the loser has to spring for dry bagels.

Now, because I’m a responsible former journalist, I must include some real information here that will actually help you keep your kids safe this summer on the water.  Glacier Raft and Outdoor Center is offering youth river education courses this month.  It’s the first time a permanent river school has been available to the public in the Flathead Valley.  It’s a steal of a deal–actually priceless–and I encourage anyone with school-aged kids who enjoy the river to sign up.  They’ll learn safety and rescue techniques, how to read water and how to get the most out of the summer on the river.

Oh, and guess what–NEVER forget the camera–the blackberry cam just doesn’t cut it, as you can see from these grainy shots.

Orion and Olivia's Fun River Dad @atleemt

Ella and Orion all smiles

Glacier Park facing east

River Darlin' Olivia

@outsideshane and Hutchling2

Happy Summer!
Hilary

@outsidehilary